When we’re younger, I find, we’re more apt to settle. We settle in relationships ("It’s better than being alone"). We settle for high-stress, low-satisfaction jobs ("It could be worse"). We settle for all kinds of things that later in life would be simply unacceptable. Now that I’m pushing 50, settling feels entirely, well, uninteresting.
Settling is not the same as compromise. Healthy relationships require a certain degree of compromise from both partners. And while I think you can get darned close, no job is perfect. There are times I’d rather curl up in the big chair in my living room and nap – or do just about anything else than hustle to meet some deadline. But life is all about trade-offs.
Settling is different. When you settle, you unwittingly or wittingly check your true needs, desires, feelings, and gifts at the door. By settling, you’re essentially telling yourself, "This is the best I can do." You don’t even try to get your needs met, or realize your true desires, or express your feelings, or bring your gifts into the world because you either don’t think a) it’s possible; or b) that you deserve to get what you want.
The "pathological optimist" in me is here to tell you that far more is possible than you think, and everyone, including you, deserves to go after what they want. Dr. Valerie Young